Sunday, June 14, 2009

Trapped

Serpentine they sinuate through my mind
Constricting my thoughts they become entwined
Now poisoned, diseased, they are no longer mine
I'm trapped in the labyrinth of a baneful design

Huddled in a corner, but they are on the hound
It's only a matter of time before I'm found
They slink behind me, first a whisper
Then rapidly fremescent- darker and deeper

Each in contradiction of the other
They try to drown out one another
They tell me to run. They tell me to come clean
"Put your ego at stake? The very idea is obscene!"-

Scream the voices in my head. I just want them to cease
Hunted and haunted I have not a moment of release
Leave me be you demons of warped confounded thought!
If only I could efface the memory of those who provoked this fraught...

54 comments:

  1. Wow, great poetry - you've got a beautiful sense of flow and rhythm.

    And I could so identify with the words, I know all about the feeling of having demons within my head :)

    Wish I could write like this though :(

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  2. Thanks man... Poetry is something I'm not too sure of... So I don't know if I can actually write poems, so thanks =)

    That's some incentive to keep at it!

    And hey, you should give it a try, you might surprise yourself!

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  3. no offence, but this kinda sucks.
    the rhyming is all good, but nothing really comes out of it... it's just... words :S

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  4. aww c'mon fallen i think its pretty good, note on the monsters though, there's no use runnig away, turning around and facing them may as a metter of fact help more.

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  5. @ St Fallen- From what I've found floating around Kottu I'd say it's far better.
    It could be that you don't get it 'cause you can't relate to it or you don't know what some of those words mean.

    @ The Whack- Running away could be a solution...

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  6. har di fucking har
    yeah most of what's on kottu is shit
    but there are a few poems here and there that are good
    my point is that the poem doesn't "go" anywhere
    if it did, I'd like it
    but since it doesn't, it doesn't really help
    it's just insight, and nothing else

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  7. K, well let me break it down for you...
    If you still don't get it *shrug* =P

    It's a process...
    Of something happening.
    People tell you stuff or you think too much about it.
    You start to hear voices in your head.
    They hound you every minute of the day and become stronger.
    Eventually you get REALLY confused 'cause they contradict each other.
    At that point you all you want is to stifle the voices, 'cause they're getting ruddy bleeding tiresome- ENDLESSLY clamouring in your head!
    And then realization dawns. The solution lies at the root of the matter. In order to get the voices to cease you've got to de-weed the thing from its roots...

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  8. er, I wasn't aware you considered me retarded, but just to let you know, I got that.
    that wasn't my point, it makes sense, it communicates the point, the rhyme and flow is good, but in the end the poem doesn't achieve anything.
    the realization means nothing because all you've done is whine about it throughout the poem and then just go, this is what I should do, and then you just end it without doing anything.
    it doesn't take you from point A to point B, it's just like, I'm here and I could get there if I did this, but meh, I'll save that for the next poem.

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  9. Not all poems are about a cause and solution.
    This one is simply the gradual stages of a state of mind.

    Take poems such as Daffodils by Wordsworth or A Thing of Beauty by Keats, they're descriptive poems.

    Poems don't necessarily need to have a point A and B.

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  10. lol i don't know about points to poetry, but running away a solution? nah that just makes you weaker don't you think? but depending on the situation yeah i guess running away or aoidance can mean victory i guess..

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  11. The Whack- Sometimes there is no solution, and the only way to achieve some peace of mind is to run away.

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  12. Delirium I feel this is pretty ok though.
    In ancient warfare, they say if you wanna retreat don’t feel beaten. Just put the target that you wanna reach to your rear and follow it. It is not a defeat but just a change of your aim towards your goal. ;)

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  13. That's an interesting way going about it! Might actually try it out =)

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  14. 幸福是人人都要,又怎麼可能都歸你所有?要知道這世界幸福本來就不多........................................

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  15. 快樂的微笑是保持生命康健的唯一藥石,它的價值千萬,卻不要花費一文錢..............................

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  16. 三分之一的人生,可以決定另外三分之二的人生!!共勉哦!.............................................

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  17. 與人相處不妨多用眼睛說話,多用嘴巴思考,.........................

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  18. 唯有學習不已的老師,才能認真的教,唯有燃燒自己,才能點亮他人的燈............................................................

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  19. 要求適合自己的愛情方式,是會得到更多,還是會錯過一個真正愛你的人。.................................................................

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  20. 人必須心懷希望,才會活的快樂,日子才過得充實,有意義,有朝氣,有信心。.......................................................

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